Thursday, October 30, 2014

Chalice Circle Session Plan for November 2014


Bellingham Unitarian Fellowship
Chalice Circle topic for November, 2014
Descent into Darkness
By Crystal Neva, Bellingham Unitarian Fellowship

Note: See the Circle Ministry Session Sequence for process guidelines.

Gathering, Welcoming (2 minutes)

Chalice lighting (1 minute)
In sightless night, terrors draw near
Nameless fears of talon and tooth
Hopelessness yawns before us—an abyss
Alone and unknown in the gloom, longing for the dawn

O sacred flame blaze forth—wisdom brought to life

Guide us—
With the light of hope
The warmth of love
The beacon of purpose and meaning

Because we are all afraid of the dark
Let there be light

Check-in/Sharing (3-4 minutes@ - 30-40 minutes)

Discussion (60 minutes)
[See Circle Ministry Session Sequence as a reminder of the structure of this segment.]
First response
Cross-conversation
Concluding statements

Topic: Darkness
(Read this poem slowly—consider reading it twice with a pause in between)
October, by Mary Oliver

            1
There’s this shape, black as the entrance to a cave.
A longing wells up in its throat
like a blossom,
as it breaths slowly

What does the world
mean to you if you can’t trust it
to go on shining when you’re

not there? And there’s
a tree, long fallen; once
the bees flew to it, like a procession
of messengers, and filled it
with honey. 

            2
I said to the chickadee, singing his heart out in the green pine tree:

little dazzler,
little song,
little mouthful

            3
The shape climbs up out of the curled grass. It grunts into view. There is no measure
for the confidence at the bottom of its eyes--
there is no telling
the suppleness of its shoulders as it turns and yawns.

                        Near the fallen tree
something—a leaf snapped loose
from the branch and fluttering down—tries to pull me
into its trap of attention.

            4
It pulls me
into its trap of attention.

And when I turn again, the bear is gone.

            5
Look, hasn’t my body already felt
like the body of a flower?

            6
Look, I want to love this world
as though it’s the last chance I’m ever going to get
to be alive
and know it

            7
Sometimes in late summer I won’t touch anything, not
the flowers, not the blackberries
brimming in the thickets; I won’t drink
from the pond; I won’t name the birds or the trees;
I won’t whisper my own name.

                        One morning
the fox came down the hill, glittering and confident,
and didn’t see me—and I thought:

so this is the world.
I’m not in it.
It is beautiful.

Late autumn and winter are times of darkness. Bears are hibernating, birds move on for warmer weather. We endure the thickening barometer as the air gets heavier with water and the clouds push down upon us. The sun shines only sometimes—and we rejoice. But then it goes away again and we resign ourselves to the dull gray days. It is a time of sadness for some of us, a longing—a time when our energy and very life seems sucked out of us as the world around us withers and dies. Some of us are like the bear—we hunker down and hibernate. Some of us isolate. Perhaps we may see the darkness as the world’s permission to stay in and use it as a time for reflection…. We may note a sense of gratitude for the warmth of our homes and our loved ones, a time to gather for holidays as we wait for the return of the light.

Questions for Reflection:
(Invite people to answer the questions that speak to them—or reflect on the poem)
·      How are you affected by the darkness?
·      Is this a time of isolation? Longing? Reflection? Anticipation? Gratitude? Waiting?
·      Are you able to trust the world to go on shining if you aren’t there?

Feedback (15 minutes)

Thank the group….  Ask what they liked and what variations they would hope for.

Closing
We grow accustomed to the dark--
When Light is put away—
As when the Neighbor holds the Lamp
To witness her Goodbye—

A moment—We uncertain step
For newness of the night—
Then—fit for our Vision to the Dark—
And meet the Road—erect—

And so of larger—Darknessess—
Those evenings of the Brain—
When not a Moon disclose a sign—
Or Star—come out—within—

The Bravest—grope a little—
And sometimes hit a Tree
Directly in the Forehead—
But as they learn to see—

Either the Darkness alters—
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight—
And Life steps almost straight.

Emily Dickenson

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Chalice Circle Session Plan for October 2014


Bellingham Unitarian Fellowship
Chalice Circle topic for October, 2014
Friendship
Adapted from Rev. Jan Carlsson-Bull for Circle Ministry at First Parish UU Cohasset, MA

Note: See the Circle Ministry Session Sequence for process guidelines.

Gathering, Welcoming (2 minutes)

Chalice lighting (1 minute)

Opening reading (1 minute)
What is it to be a friend?  Hear the words of that master of words and ideas and 19th century Unitarian, Ralph Waldo Emerson, has to offer in his essay on friendship:

“We have a great deal more kindness than is ever spoken.  Maugre all the selfishness that chills like east winds the world, the whole human family is bathed with an element of love like a fine ether.  How many persons we meet in houses, whom we scarcely speak to, whom yet we honor, and who honor us!  How many we see in the street, or sit with in church, whom, though silently, we warmly rejoice to be with!  Read the language of these wandering eye-beams.  The heart knoweth. 

….I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with roughest courage.  When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know.”

Check-in/Sharing (3-4 minutes@ - 30-40 minutes)

Discussion (60 minutes)
[See Circle Ministry Session Sequence as a reminder of the structure of this segment.]
First response
Cross-conversation
Concluding statements

Topic: Friendship
What is it to be a friend?  What is a healthy friendship?   Why is such a friendship sometimes hard to sustain?

            The research psychologist, John M. Gottman, has spent over twenty years looking at the key elements of healthy relationships between spouses, lovers, children, siblings, colleagues, and friends. In his book, The Relationship Cure, Gottman posits that the most delightful – and volatile – aspect of friendship is the voluntary nature of it all.  Whether it’s a cup of coffee, a lavish gift, or an offer to stay by your sickbed, favors from friends are intentional acts of generosity.  Friends are not obligated to us by law, economics, or family bonds.  Our friends turn toward our bids for connection simply because they want to, and that’s what makes those relationships rewarding.

            By the same token, our friendships often suffer from a lack of time because of all our other commitments and obligations.  So it often takes a bit of extra effort and creative thought to find opportunities for turning toward your friends. 

Consider in silence for awhile these questions:

How would you describe the friendships that have lasted long and that you most value?

What have you learned from friendships that you initially valued but that didn’t last?

Why do you think Emerson felt friendships should be treated “with roughest courage?”  How does this understanding connect with Gottman’s claim that “the most delightful – and volatile – aspect of friendship” is its voluntary nature?”  

What experiences can you draw on that reflect the time you have devoted to your friendships?  The imagination? 

For our concluding thoughts: How are you a good friend?


Feedback (15 minutes)

Thank the group….  Ask what they liked and what variations they would hope for.

Closing (1 minute)

Friendship is a spiritual and practical matter.  The third century theologian, Eusebius understood this well:

“....may I be the friend
            of that which is eternal and abides.
            ....May I never fail a friend.
            May I respect myself.”

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Chalice Circle Session Plan for September 2014


Bellingham Unitarian Fellowship
Chalice Circle Topic for September 2014
Community
Adapted from the Main Line Unitarian Church, Devon, PA September 2004

Gathering and Welcoming (2 minutes)

Opening Words & Chalice Lighting: From Henry Nelson Wieman
“Religious faith is basically an act—the act of giving one’s self into the keeping of what commands faith, to be transformed by it, and to serve it above all.  More specifically, it is the act of deciding to live in the way required by the source of human good [and] to maintain association with a fellowship practicing that commitment….”

Check in/Sharing (3-4 minutes each—30-40 minutes)
(The facilitator should briefly remind the group of confidentiality/anonymity, that this is not the time for cross conversation, etc.)

Topic Discussion: Community (60 minutes)

Focus Readings:  From Raymond Baughan
"We deceive ourselves if we think we can be grasped by life's meaning, or a sense of the holy, before we find and are found by our fellow human beings. There is no sense of the sacredness of life, no sense of the holiness of sheer existence that does not come first through an­other person. Human encounter is common: human acceptance is rare. Religious community is people reaching through all the facades people carefully place around them‑people embracing people where they live and struggle, what Henry Nelson Wieman calls 'creative interchange.' The most radical contribution religion can make to human living is that it enables people to experience community as starkly as hunger.... Where life has a chance, we are in caring and in mutual need. When we are most alive, we are in the presence of someone or something intensely with us.... Nothing is experienced except in relation. It is participation in a religious community that stabs our consciousness into this awareness in the midst of a society that knows nothing about it."

From Anonymous: “No child can escape her community…. The life of the community flows about her, foul or pure; she swims in it, goes to sleep in it, and wakes to the new day to find it still about her.  He belongs to it; it nourishes him, or starves him, or poisons him; it gives them the substance of their lives.”

Focus Questions:
(you may wish to pose all of these questions and let people choose which ones to respond to or you can choose some that will make your discussion more focused)
a.     What different communities have affected you and how?
b.     Which communities have you felt closer to and why?
c.     What has been your experience of your work, school, and neighborhood communities?
d.     What has been your experience of this church community?
e.     In what way might you say your experience here is religious/spiritual?


Checkout/Likes and Wishes
(This is the time for facilitators to ask participants what they liked about this meeting and what they might wish for future meetings.  This is also the time for any discussion of logistics.)

Closing Words & Extinguishing Chalice:  From Howard Thurman
“A strange necessity has been laid upon me to devote my life to the central concern that transcends the walls that divide and would achieve in literal fact what is experienced as literal truth; human life is one and all [people] are members of one another.  And this insight is spiritual and it is the core of religious experience.” 

Chalice Circle Session Plan for August 2014


Bellingahm Unitarian Fellowship
Challice Circle Topic for August 2014
“HAPPINESS”
Adapted from First Unitarian Universalist Society of Burlington, Vermont, by Adam Bortz

Welcome and Gathering

Chalice Lighting and Opening Words
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself:   I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.    Source:  Groucho Marx

Check-in/Sharing:  (3-4 minutes each- 30-40 minutes)

Opening Readings:
No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.             Source: Barbara de Angelis
I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be "happy." I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all, to matter and to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.                                    Source:  Leo C. Rosten
If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.                                                                                  Source:  Andrew Carnegie
Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.                Source:  Eleanor Roosevelt

Aristotle maintained that Happiness (or a kind of flourishing) is the result of a moderate temperament regarding human virtues (dignity, for instance is finding the middle ground between arrogance or pomposity and self-deprecation), practical knowledge about how to live, favorable circumstances (at least a minimum of basic comforts), true friendships, and moral strength (follow through on what you know to be right or wrong).  In his view, one must be good (ethical) in order to flourish in the kind of happiness that is much more than a transient emotional state. He also thought true happiness was pretty rare. And he believed that it was (is) the purpose of human life.

Main Subject:  Tell us what “happiness” means to you personally.
  1. What does “happiness” mean to you?
  2. What makes you happy?
  3. Is happiness all it is cracked up to be?
  4. How do you share your happiness with others?
  5. What could be done to make the rest of the world share your happiness, if you so desire?


Feedback
Thank the group.   Ask what they liked in this session and what changes they would hope for.

Closing:
Duty to Man has replaced Duty to God.  It is the central point of Humanism.
                                                                            Source:  Rosalind Murray

The highest and best thing that man can conceive is a human life nobly and beautifully lived – therefore his loyalties and energies should be devoted to the arrangement of conditions which make this possible.  The sole issue is how to make this world a place conducive to the living of a noble human life, and then to help people in every possible way to live such lives.                Source:  Varieties of American Religion by John Dietrich